59 - Marty Feldman and Tim Brooke-Tyalor: "Funny He Never married"

From “It’s Marty”, 1968 BBC comedy series.
Again, the BBC has deleted almost all archive recordings of this series. A compilation soundtrack record, “Marty”, was released at the time and this is one of the sketches on the LP, and was also a separate single release. Unfortunatley, I don't know the writer.
[transcript from http://www.churchofvirus.org/bbs/Printpage.php?board=63;threadid=36732]

Voice 1 is Tim Brooke Taylor. Voice 2 is Marty Feldman. Both doing old man voices

1. It was a good funeral ...
2. Yes, we give him a good send off ...
1. Yes ...
2. No man could want more ...
1. No, no ...
2. He was a good man, George. We won't see his like again.
1. Salt of the earth, was George. Yes he was ...
(pause)
2. Funny he never married.
1. Yes. ... who?
2. George.
1. Ah yes ...
2. I mean, it's not that he never had his chances (chortling)
2. Oh, when he was young ... a man like that ... could have had any he'd chosen. Good looking enough.
1. Yes, yes he was ... almost too good looking.
2. Almost too good looking. Them big blue eyes. Them dimples ... yes, and that school girl complexion of his ... could have had any girl he chose.
1. ...any girl he chose
2. ... man like that. Funny he never married.
1. Yes, funny that.
2. Still, still ... he had his compensations.
1. Yes I suppose he did.
2. Other interests. Scouting ...
1. He was very keen on scouting, wasn't he.
2. ... scouting. Even in his later years, he'd only have to see a troop of scouts go by and his eyes would light up.
1. Nostalgia ... I suppose.
2. I suppose, yes ...
(pause)
2. Funny he never married.
1. Yes, funny that, yes.
2. He was a funny chap in many ways, when you think about it.
1. He was quite, yes ...
2. The way he walked.
1. Ah yes ...
2. That was funny.
1. With his hips ...
2. And his voice ...
1. High pitched sort of voice.
2. Oh, almost to the point of falsetto, yes ... Oh that was funny, yes. He was funny, yes ... But kind, kind ...
1. Oh, he was very kind, yes.
2. Kind, kind, kind ... Almost too kind. He let his-self be taken advantage of ... I never knew him turn a stranger away from his door. There was always a bed in his house for any waif or stray ...
1. Yes, yes ...
2. Or soldier ...
1. Yes ...
2. Or sailor.
1. Especially sailors.
2. He liked sailors.
1. Never, never knew him turn a sailor away.
2. Never a sailor, no. Quite often they didn't even have to come to him.
1. Yes ...
2. No, he'd go out looking for them, he would. Never spared himself
1. No, no ...
2. Funny he never married. Man like that.
1. He'd have made a good husband.
2. Oh he would, oh, oh ...
1. A very good husband ...
2. A very good husband, there's no gainsaying that. He could cook...
1. He could sew ...
2. He could knit ...
1. Yes, yes ... He could arrange flowers.
2. Oh, oh his house, his house ... It was like a new pin ...
1. Like a shiny new pin.
2. New pin, new pin ...
1. Yes, yes it was ...
(pause)
2. Funny he never married. He was a happy man.
1. Yes, yes he was.
2. He was a happy man.
1. He was, he was ...
2. Yes, Yes. Never happier than when he was dressing up.
1. Theatrical streak, I suppose.
2. I suppose ...
1. Yes ...
2. How he loved that mother of pearl handbag.
1. Almost broke his heart, it did, when he left it on the bus.
2. He loved dressing up, yes.
1. Yes ...
2. All in all it's, er ... funny he never married.
1. Funny - You never married

---------------------------

A wonderfully blithe bit of gossip, recounting all the stereotypes about the confirmed bachelor. That the stereotypes are already well known is the joke, since the audience pick up on all the signifiers which the characters in the sketch miss. By this time the British public had been acquainted with the radio goings-on of Julian and Sandy on "Round the Horne". The fondness for scouts and sailors is one cliche that often gets exhumed, particularly in the case of East End gangster Ronnie Kray.

The manic pop-eyed Feldman rarely played gay in anyway.
Tim Brooke-Taylor, however, often did during this period.


(publicity photo, camping it up, left to right: David Hatch, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Bill Oddie, and John Cleese)

Brooke-Taylor was one of the cast on “I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again” an energetic radio gagfest from the late 60s, featuring his fellow “Goodies”-to-be, Bill Oddie and Graeme Garden, and a young John Cleese. The performers on ISIRTA had ready characterisations and Brook-Taylor would occasionally slip into a simpering camp voice for a throwaway gag. In 1969, he performed in the rent-a-face Euro-comedy “Twelve to One” as Willie Rushton’s gay husband. Besides being Sharon Tate’s last film, “Twelve to One” also featured Orson Welles. Either just before or after this film, Orson Welles made series of comic sketches about London, which Brooke-Taylor performed in. One of the sketches featured Welles in a gentleman’s outfitters with Brooke-Taylor as a camp shop assistant.

58 - Shary Flenniken: "Child of Divorce"

in 'National Lampoon', May 1980

Showing gay parents is probably a relatively novel or even daring thing to do for this time. Even Alison Bechdel’s “Dykes to Watch Out For” dates from 1983. None of the portrayals are offensive or too clichéd, and the emphasis on the parent discussing sexual politics with their child is the point of the joke. So, homosexual parents raise, if not an outright homosexual kid, then certainly a prissy drama queen, who has difficulty even knowing what the typical gender role should be. Well, Anita Bryant would probably agree with that. However, that the flamingness of the child is played off against the gay parents wanting to camouflage it, is some deeper level of irony. This strip could probably have appeared anytime in the last 28 years and it still seems relatively fresh. Only the hairstyles and furniture date it. Flenniken is fairly good on working up a dramatic twists for when each of the assorted partners and parents makes their appearance.

The balance and thoughtfulness of this comic stands out bu comparison, when about a year earlier the editor, P.J. O’Rourke, can casually make a throwaway remark about “stinky divorced lesbian women who raise their sons as queers”.

57 - Fran Lebowitz: "The Primary Cause of Heterosexuality Among Males in Urban Areas: Yet Another Crackpot Theory"

in “Metropolitan Life”, 1978

The most commonly heard complaint among heterosexual women in New York concerns the dearth of heterosexual men. Should you hear such talk you would be well advised to direct the complainant to a Soho bar. For here she would be surrounded by such a plethora of eager gents that she might well wonder just who's buying all those plaid flannel shirts. Why, she may ask, is this particular quarter of the city so heavily populated by young men to whom the name Ronald Firbank means nothing? To this query there can be only one reply-heterosexuality among males in urban areas is caused primarily by overcrowding in artist colonies. This is a scientific fact. Here is how we know.
Scientists observed over a long period of time the behavior of a group of twenty rats living in an apartment with high ceilings ,and working fireplaces. All twenty rats were artists. All twenty rats were, as is normal in such cases, homosexual. Five of these rats were chosen at random and taken in a knapsack to West Broadway, where they were moved into a loft. They were joined there by ninety-five other rats who were also homosexual artists and had also been chosen at random from a number of other natural habitats such as doorman buildings and converted brownstones. All hundred rats had, when in their proper environments, exhibited absolutely no inclination, toward unusual sexual behavior. Once, however, faced with life in a neighborhood that contained so many galleries and so few decent restaurants, an alarming pattern began to emerge. First they stopped painting and started having concepts. Then they began consuming a diet heavy in raisins and the less expensive but heartier red wines. Finally, many of them displayed a decided, tendency to teach two days a week at the School of Visual Arts. Once this occurred they were past the point of no return and began seeking the company of female rats who had gone to Bennington in the late sixties.
The scientists, understandably horrified by the results of their tampering with the natural order, tried to stem the rising tide of heterosexuality by appealing to the rats' greatest weakness. They chose a small group of ,rats who had previously been the most hard-core of the S & M crowd. They led them over to the docks on the Hudson River. Here they attempted to stir old fires by tossing into the murky waters those accoutrements most cherished before the move to Soho. First they let dangle and then drop a black leather cap with metal orna¬ments. The rats responded with agitated tail movements but stayed put. Next they tried a pair of rugged boots complete with menacing-looking spurs. Still no action. Finally the scientists threw into the river a long, snaky leather whip. Their spirits lifted as several of the rats scurried to the edge of the dock. ,But instinct was overcome by conditioning, and they watched with heavy hearts and defeated eyes the rats desert the sinking whip.

------------------

Amongst other things a potted allusive overview of a certain type of social landscape in New York, probably circa 1977. Artiness, fagginess, kinkiness, and the Byzantine social codes of where and how you live in Manhattan. Again, we have the comic conceit that homosexuality is the naturally obtaining state. Although in NYC at the time, that might have seemed the case in certain circles. Whether the shade of Anita Bryant, with its supposed heterosexual revivalism, lurks somewhere in the background of this I shan’t attempt to guess. Oh yes, and a truly abysmal pun to round it off.

56 - Religion: Are You Cruising with Me, Lord?

By Brian Shein in “National Lampoon”, May 1977

I met you in a bar.
No one else could see you, but I knew a very special person had just walked into my life.
I let you buy me a drink.
I liked your style. '
You didn't come on too strong. You were gentle, friendly, warm.
You asked me about myself; and I found myself pouring out my heart to you.
I told you about shame and guilt, anger and loneliness. Especially the loneliness, the terrible solitude or those nights when my body was so close to another man's, but our hearts and minds were so far apart.
You listened. You could accept what I was saying.
Then you told we how you too were "different" from others.
You told me about society's abuse and mistrust. About the nights alone on Galiliean hillsides.
You told me what they did to your body, the most beautiful body any man has ever had.
But then you told me about love and forgiveness.
You smiled when you talked of your love for all mankind.
I smiled too.
You held my hand as we looked deep into each others' eyes. There were tears in mine. Tears of joy.
We had found each other, you and I.
I went home with you that night.
It was the best.
It was real.
Let's go cruising. Together.
Let's hit those bars and baths and pick up a few more souls.
Let's do it tonight. And the night after, too.
You've got my number. Just dial L-O-V-E and charge it to my heart.
You great big beautiful son of God.

--------------------

This may be a parody of Malcolm Boyd’s prayer “This is a Homosexual Bar, Jesus" in his 1965 collection “Are You Running with Me, Jesus?” In 1977 Malcolm Boyd had just come out.

"This is a homosexual bar, Jesus. It looks like any other bar on the outside, only it isn't. Men stand three and four deep at this bar—some just feeling a sense of belonging here, others making contacts for new sexual partners. This isn't very much like a church, Lord, but many members of the church are also here in this bar. Quite a few of the men here belong to the church as well as to this bar. If they knew how, a number of them would ask you to be with them in both places. Some of them wouldn't, but won't you be with them, too, Jesus?"

I’ve already made a few references to historical discussion of Jesus and any putative homosexuality on his part here.

This poem highlights certain major differences between the UK and the US. This was published in “National Lampoon”, a magazine with a sizeable readership, but it seems to have vanished without a trace. It depicts an imagined homosexual relationship with Jesus Christ, yet the Catholics and assorted evangelical wingnuts, who at that time seemed to hold inordinate social and political power in certain quarters, appear to have overlooked it altogether. Go figure. Of course, America does have freedom of speech.
In November 1976, “Gay News” in the UK, published the poem “The Love That Dares to Speak Its Name” by James Kirkup, a fantasy about a Roman centurion committing necrophiliac acts upon Christ’s dead body. This led Mary Whitehouse, of the National Viewers’ and Listeners’ Association, to lead a successful private prosecution for blasphemous libel against the editor of “Gay News” in July 1977. Some of the history and oddity of this case can be read about here
As legal restrictions on homosexuality were being overturned, the last recourse for bigots, outside of naked digust and hatred, was the moral sphere. Whitehouses' prosecution, despite being successful, left her "dreadfully isolated" (in her own words).
Section 28 in the UK (the debate for which lasted from December 1987-May 1988) was the last-ditch attempt to entwine the legal with a supposed morally-founded opposition to homosexuality. And it's notable that aside from a few jokes about rowdy lesbian protestors, nobody found anything funny to joke about in that nasty sordid homophobic mess.
What an ugly week this one has been. Let's hope I find something marginally cheerier for next week.

55 - Church Outing aftermath: Jak

"Bring up the boiling oil, Peter Tatchell's queers are coming."
Jak (Raymond Jackson) in the “Evening Standard”, 22 April 1997

I could unpick this. All I’ll say, is that out of all the things I’ve come across, I think this is the most shockingly offensive one to date. And notable for it’s very late appearance.

54 - Church Outing aftermath: Charles Griffin

Charles Griffin in the “Daily Express”, 17 May 1996
In 1996 Runcie admitted that he had ordained clergy on a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. He said he had ignored church rules by ordaining practicing homosexuals while in office. He had not actually confirmed that they were homosexual and living in a committed relationship; he simply did not inquire and assumed that they were.
Griffin adopts the blatant heterosexuality policy of Jak, but 1996 seems rather late to be using the phrase “nancy boy”. There may be some sort of ironic screen, in that its being said by the red-faced brigadier figure. But its intent of offence and disgust can’t be denied.

53 - Church Outing 1987 (Private Eye)

"Private Eye" 27 November 1987

"Private Eye"'s contribution to the commentary. Overlooked by all the other cartoonists is that the General Synod was to be an opportunity to discuss positions on AIDS. "Mates" is a real brand of condom, and condom ads were a new shocking addition to British life at this time.
Its image of three-in-a-bed is unusual. Although this gag is basically a slightly more up-market and intellectual take on "Pulpit Poofs must stay"

52 - Church outing 1987 (part 2)

When the General Synod convened, the Archbishop of Canterbury Robert Runcie refused to be railroaded by extremists. Instead the Synod was led to take a moderate approach which effectively fell between two stools. The Synod condemned “homosexual genital acts”, but refused to approve any expulsion of homosexual clergy from the Church. So homosexuals got a public beating from the church, but homosexual clergy got to keep their jobs. As “The Sun” so charmingly summed it up the next day, “Pulpit Poofs must stay”.


Stanley Franklin in “The Sun”, 13 November 1987
Stanley Franklin goes for the transvestite motif, and also gets to reuse the “Sun”’s own blatantly offensive phrase. Why think up something new when you can whip up someone else’s thick-witted second-hand vitriol.


Michael Cummings in “The Daily Express”, 13 November 1987
Michael Cumming’s strikes a slightly more moralistic tone. References to Sodom and Gomorrah being slightly more up market. Lot’s Wife is a strangely superfluous and touch, although I suppose it’ll jog the memory of any who can’t quite get what the caption is alluding to. Archbishop Runcie is the driver of the confessional car. This is about the only cartoon to put the event in any sort of context for the Church of England, and what it signifies for Runcie’s leadership. The rest just go for easy comic stereotypes about poofs. Cummings has though chosen to go for the twinkly eyed theatrical stereotype of homosexual.


Mac (Stan McMurtry) in “The Daily Mail”, 13 November 1987
Not an actual homosexual in sight. Just a comic situation. Although it could suggest that homosexuals are so predatory even young bridegrooms have no powers of resistance, or just that she had the wrong sort of taste in men. Anyway, if that’s the way Mac draws his matronly women, no wonder his transvestites look so damn odd.


Bernard Cookson in “The Sun”, 16 November 1987
I honestly don’t know whether to be offended or just contemptuous.


Jak (Raymond Jackson) “Evening Standard”, 16 November 1987
Again, 26 years later JAK reverts to the same blatant show of big-titted heterosexuality to sweep away the gayness as he did in #21
An interesting piece of gossip about JAK. You’ll notice the cartoon conspicuously features “Benson & Hedges” and “C.S.T Wholesale Meat” – which are both real business enterprises. You might think this is just for a touch of realism. But it was revealed that companies who featured in JAK’s cartoons would then buy the originals at surprisingly high rates, so that the companies were effectively rewarding JAK for advertising their brands in his work.

51 - Church Outing 1987 (part 1)

The first mass outing of gay clergy in the Church of England came from conservative elements from within. Possibly, because they felt homosexuality was morally wrong, or that homosexuality was fundamentally unnatural and disgusting, or just possibly that homosexuals constituted a large enough clique wihin the organisation that they were therefore a powerbase, and so this frontal attack was a way to make the way clearer for certain young thrusters.
A young Evangelical, Tony Higton, put forward a motion condemning homosexuality in the church of England, and also made statements as to the pervasion of homosexuals through the Church. His motion gained popularity throughout the summer and autumn to become the issue when the General Synod would convene in November 1987


Zoke (Michael Attwell) in “News of the World”, 12 July 1987
An early effort from when newspapers weren’t sure which way the wind was going to blow on the debate. Besides, the Royal marriage was getting into a frightful mess already and made for much more obvious material. Then again, the “News of the World has always been bitterly homophobic, so it really wasn’t likely to miss an opportunity. It is, however, a surprising forthright representation of what homosexuality actually means.


Mac (Stan McMurtry) in “Daily Mail”, 23 October 1987
At then end of Anglican services the vicar usually waits outside the cathedral to shake the hands of his parishioners. (The Kiss of Peace is Catholic, otherwise, who knows what the cartoonists would have run to).



Jak (Raymond Jackson) in “Evening Standard”, 23 October 1987
Again, the recourse to transvestism, although note how the pipe sets off the stockings. A surprisingly detailed background, and don’t forget to look at the stained glass window on the far right


Mac (Stan McMurtry) in “Daily Mail”, 27 October 198
The right wing, both the newspapers and politicians, were rather sick of being admonished by holier than thou liberal clergy. Homosexuality was a jolly useful stick to beat them off with. See how Mac offers us the same strange transvestite person as #23

50 - Religion: Michael Cummings

in the “Daily Express”, 14 February 1976

Intriguing that the idea of a gay vicar immediately leads to the idea of officiating at gay marriage. Although it is Valentine’s day.

If nothing else, you can’t say Cummings hasn’t tried to cram as much into one panel as possible: Oscar Wilde, pursed lips, fluttery eyes, tippytoes, beardy-weirdy facial hair (although that may just be the ‘70s), transvestism, eunuchs, a rewriting of the Bible, and pre-politically correct usage of “Person”-hood.

From this great a distance of time, this cartoon would seem to walk the line between geniality and ridiculousness. But given that this is for the "Daily Express", it may well be intended to forcefully represent the very image of civilisation turned on its head.